Let’s just cut to the chase on this on y’all.
As a mother of 2 toddlers and a 9 year old, I’m tired. Everyday. Life, fall-down-don’t-talk-to-me-dog-tired. And that’s after I’ve had my morning coffee! Which brings me to my next topic. Is there (sex)Life after kids?
Of course there is. But husbands, listen up. I’m going to drop some knowledge on you that will help you in your romantic efforts to woo your wife.
I asked several women a series of questions related to romance, sex, motherhood, etc. These were seasoned moms, new moms, moms with 1 child, moms with 100 children…ok not 100. But any amount of children over 3 seems like 100 to me!
When you become a mom, no one tells you that you also become a maid, a chef, a nurse, an engineer, a seamstress, an artist and a hero. But you always feel like a failure. That’s a lot of hats to wear Especially when you factor in being a wife, a sexpot, a Proverbs 31 women. I mean, our rolls as a mama and a wife are challenging. I won’t even go into if you’re a working mom. Bless your hearts! Working moms, I respect and applaud you.
After reading through the questionnaire, I struggled. There were some things I just couldn’t talk about from my perspective out of respect for my husband. I also realized that I’m not alone and neither are you!! The best thing though? I’m not crazy. I was really worried about that. 🙂
Like the moms I interviewed, I took my pre-baby body for granted. All my life, I was more on the thin side. Except for a few years in my twenties where all I did was eat to soothe my wounded soul. Seriously. (On a side note, be kind to one another. You never know what kind of pain you could be causing your “friends”. But that’s another blog topic.) So I never really had hips at all. Now I have them and am pleased as punch! Some changes were great after baby. Others….Not so much. I’m talking shrinking breasts, stretch marks, extra weight, loose, skin…want me to keep going? Yeah me either. Our bodies are truly sabotaged after babies. Unless you’re a genetic mutant like Gisele or Heidi Klum. Thanks Victoria’s Secret for constantly reminding us of what we will never live up to!
*Don’t be mislead, I wouldn’t change anything. I love my children. They’re innocence, laughter, stubbornness and general awesomeness bless me EVERYDAY. But we mama’s still want time alone.
Another thing about being a mom that no one tells you, is boobs. I don’t care what books, magazines, doctors and websites tell you, THEY CHANGE AFTER PREGNANCY! They go from giant, glorious milk-filled mounds of softness to deflated balloons that were spectacular balloon-animals in their previous life. How is this fair?!
With Valentine’s day approaching, I feel the need to address romance. I’m fairly certain (actually 100% certain) that men and woman have totally different views on romance. Duh. Chocolate? Flowers? Psh. Please. What woman want is to go to the bathroom alone. We want you to draw us a hot bubble bath and, at whatever the cost, keep the kids from pounding on the bathroom door! That’s romantic!! Buy us books!! Chicks love books. Guys, I’m going to let you in on a little secret. The more time you make for your wife to get break/downtime/be alone, the more she will make an effort to BE ALONE WITH YOU. There. You’re welcome!
No amount of affirmation you give us will ever make us more confident. We’ll never believe you when you tell us we’re the hottest/sexiest/whateverest woman you’ve ever seen. Want to make us feel that way? Turn your heads when we’re walking by Victoria’s secret in the mall. Don’t watch the VS fashion show on tv. Turn the channel when hot girls are in the commercials or the cheerleaders from your favorite team are on the screen. When we try to turn the lights off before “bed”, ask to keep them on a little longer. Tell us how beautiful we are, stretch marks and all. And ladies, don’t tell him to shut up, say “yeah right” or anything else we say when our men try to compliment us. JUST SAY THANK YOU. It’s these words and actions that will reinstate our confidence as a wife, mother and woman. And for you feminists out there, I know our confidence shouldn’t come from our man. But he does have a powerful influence on the way we carry ourselves.
I hope this helps. I know it has helped me. Guys, be patient with us. We’ll come around. I promise!